How to Train Your Human

A witty and winsome new way of looking at the complex relationship between cats and people: through the eyes of one erudite and attentive Italian gatto.

We live on a planet infested with humans. They are a pernicious species, yet undeniably clever and capable—even if the reasons behind their actions are often incomprehensible to us felines.

But while it is true that there have never been so many primates on Earth, in reality, they are quite simple to teach using well-practiced domestication techniques, such as loud vocalizations, strategic nighttime alarms, and selective displays of affection.

And if you choose your specimen carefully, you’ll find that it can be completely tamed, and you'll end up with the best, most faithful companion you could possibly wish for.

Translated from the Italian by Katherine Gregor