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Veijarikirjailijan hyrskynmyrskyisä kotiinpaluu Juha Vuorisen kolmannessatoista kolumnikokoelmassa, Mitäs me paluumuuttajat, tiiraillaan hullua maailmanmenoa Suomi-neidon helmojen alta. Epäonnen perjantaina maaliskuussa 2020 ulkomaankirjeenvaihtajamme señor Vuorinen perheineen pakenee pandemiaa Espanjasta ja palaa seitsemän ulkomaanvuoden jälkeen Suomeen. Vaivalla hankittu rusketus haihtuu hetkessä, ja kohta naamanahka loistaa taas valkoisena kuin Niko Ranta-ahon Suomeen rahtaama jauho. Kun koko maailma yhtäkkiä sulkeutuu ja Aurinkorannikon maisemat vaihtuvat lähimarketista hamstrattuihin vessapaperivuoriin, alkaa pohdinta, olisiko aika toivottaa perheeseen tervetulleeksi uusi jäsen. Loppuvuodesta kotiin tassutteleekin kultainennoutaja himputinmoinen Hilma, jolla on vielä samanlainen tähtikarttakin kuin runoilija Pentti Saarikoskella.

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