W świecie, gdzie człowiek człowiekowi wilkiem, warto być… kotem. Charlie nie jest żadnym superbohaterem. Można by powiedzieć, ze jest całkiem zwyczajnym gościem, ale tak naprawdę plasuje się w najniższych granicach średniej. Jest rozwodnikiem, mieszka z kotem w domu, który jego rodzeństwo usilnie stara się sprzedać. Pracuje dorywczo jako nauczyciel i marzy tylko o tym, by otworzyć pub w centrum miasta. O ile jakikolwiek bank udzieli mu na to pożyczki, na co nieszczególnie się zanosi. Nieoczekiwany spadek po zmarłym wuju wydaje się istnym błogosławieństwem i rozwiązaniem wszystkich problemów. I tu całkowita racja. Wydaje się. Charlie nie doczytał najwyraźniej aneksu małym druczkiem i razem ze spadkiem przyjął...imperium złoczyńców. Jasne, wraz z kryjówką na wulkanicznej wyspie, superlaserami i wypasionymi jamami z lawą. Ale też z całą rzeszą wrogów i to nie tak staroświeckich jak jego poczciwy wujek-złoczyńca. Jego rywale są bogatymi, bezdusznymi drapieżnikami wspieranymi przez międzynarodowe korporacje i organizacje lubujące się w inwestycjach wysokiego ryzyka. Na barki Charliego spada więc ciężar, zapoczątkowanej przez wujka wojny, wypowiedzianej niegdyś lidze superzłoczyńców. Na szczęście z bandą zrzeszonych acz kłopotliwych delfinów, nadludzko inteligentnymi i gadatliwymi kotami szpiegowskimi oraz innymi przerażającymi popleczniczkami u boku, schodzenie na złą drogę, wydaje się całkiem… dobre.

Początkujący złoczyńca

New York Times Bestseller ""There is no writer quite like Dolly Alderton working today and very soon the world will know it.” —Lisa Taddeo, author of #1 New York Times bestseller Three Women “Dolly Alderton has always been a sparkling Roman candle of talent. She is funny, smart, and explosively engaged in the wonders and weirdness of the world. But what makes this memoir more than mere entertainment is the mature and sophisticated evolution that Alderton describes in these pages. It’s a beautifully told journey and a thoughtful, important book. I loved it.” —Elizabeth Gilbert, New York Times bestselling author of Eat, Pray, Love and City of Girls The wildly funny, occasionally heartbreaking internationally bestselling memoir about growing up, growing older, and learning to navigate friendships, jobs, loss, and love along the ride When it comes to the trials and triumphs of becoming an adult, journalist and former Sunday Times columnist Dolly Alderton has seen and tried it all. In her memoir, she vividly recounts falling in love, finding a job, getting drunk, getting dumped, realizing that Ivan from the corner shop might just be the only reliable man in her life, and that absolutely no one can ever compare to her best girlfriends. Everything I Know About Love is about bad dates, good friends and—above all else— realizing that you are enough. Glittering with wit and insight, heart and humor, Dolly Alderton’s unforgettable debut weaves together personal stories, satirical observations, a series of lists, recipes, and other vignettes that will strike a chord of recognition with women of every age—making you want to pick up the phone and tell your best friends all about it. Like Bridget Jones’ Diary but all true, Everything I Know About Love is about the struggles of early adulthood in all its terrifying and hopeful uncertainty.

Everything I Know About Love

Co zrobić, by należeć do elity narodu? Poczciwy Dyzma pokazuje, że wystarczy po prostu być. To błyskotliwa opowieść o urzędniku pocztowym, którego życie zmienia się o 180 stopni dzięki znalezieniu zaproszenia na przyjęcie dla dyplomatów. Dyzma, 30-parolatek bez ambicji, z dnia na dzień zdobywa uznanie wyższych sfer i rozpoczyna ogromną karierę. Ta przewrotna powieść obnaża cynizm i głupotę elit lat 20., dostarczając zarazem niezwykłego obrazu epoki, który wciąż pozostaje aktualny. Autor z niezrównaną wnikliwością i humorem przedstawia, jak łatwo można oszukać społeczeństwo pragnące wierzyć w pozory. Idealna dla fanek i fanów Marka Hłasko. Tadeusz Dołęga-Mostowicz (1898-1939) - polski prozaik i scenarzysta. Rozgłos przyniosła mu „Kariera Nikodema Dyzmy”, wydana w 1932 roku. Powieść kilkakrotnie ekranizowana, na podstawie której powstał również serial.

Kariera Nikodema Dyzmy

The multi-million copy number one bestseller One of The Sunday Times's top 100 bestselling books of the past 50 years Welcome to Bridget's first diary: mercilessly funny, endlessly touching and utterly addictive. A dazzlingly urban satire on modern relationships? An ironic, tragic insight into the demise of the nuclear family? Or the confused ramblings of a pissed thirty-something? As Bridget documents her struggles through the social minefield of her thirties and tries to weigh up the eternal question (Daniel Cleaver or Mark Darcy?), she turns for support to four indispensable friends: Shazzer, Jude, Tom and a bottle of chardonnay. Helen Fielding's first Bridget Jones novel, Bridget Jones's Diary, sparked a phenomenon that has seen four books, newspaper columns and the smash-hit film series Bridget Jones's Diary, The Edge of Reason, Bridget Jones's Baby and Mad About the Boy. Bridget Jones's Diary was featured in 'The 100 bestselling books of the past 50 years' published by The Sunday Times on 18/08/2024

Picador Collection

Bridget Jones's Diary

Zakazany romans, zagadkowe morderstwo tajemniczych zabójstw - i komedia kryminalna. Natalia nie może ułożyć sobie życia. Ma nadzieję, że gdy już zdobędzie stopień doktora, łatwo znajdzie pracę i wszystko się zmieni. Ale ma romans ze swoim promotorem. On jednak nie zamierza porzucać rodziny i wiązać się z nią. Pewnego dnia siostra przedstawia Natalii propozycję nie do odrzucenia – ma wyjechać na wieś i opiekować się ciotką. Wkrótce dochodzi na wsi do tajemniczych zabójstw ludzi i zwierząt. Natalia wpada na trop mordercy i jednocześnie próbuje jakoś ogarnąć swoje życie prywatne, co bywa czasami dużo trudniejsze niż polowanie na mordercę. Jak Natalia z tym wszystkim się poradzi? I kto jest mordercą? Anna Kleiber – żona, mama, a wieczorową porą pisarka. Mieszka w Wielkopolsce i pracuje w bibliotece.

Głupia baba

Diaboliada to satyryczna powieść Michała Bułhakowa - mistrza w podchwytywaniu absurdalnych przejawów sowieckiej rzeczywistości, która niekiedy przeradza się w prawdziwy obłęd. Człowiek, który wpadnie w tryby rozpędzonej machiny biurokracji, ulegnie presji ludzkiej głupoty i własnego strachu, jak drobny referent Korotkow, bohater książki, musi załamać się psychicznie. Niewinna z pozoru karuzela zabawnych perypetii i nieporozumień kończy się tragicznie.

Diaboliada

Pinokio napada na bank. W wiosce Smerfów narasta konflikt związany z wyścigiem o rękę Smerfetki, kryzys gospodarczy zmusza ekipę krasnoludków do pracy na kontrakcie w Kolumbii, a między Bolkiem i Lolkiem dochodzi do rękoczynów... W tym zbiorze bajek tylko dla dorosłych wszystko jest możliwe! Poznajcie nowe, zaskakujące i szalone przygody bohaterów opowieści, które z pewnością pamiętacie z dzieciństwa – tym razem w wersji pełnej czarnego humoru, ironii i groteski. Może się okazać, że seks, używki i poważne dylematy egzystencjalne dotyczą wszystkich, z Czerwonym Kapturkiem i krasnoludkami włącznie. Dzięki lekturze dowiecie się między innymi: ● Skąd się wzięło powiedzenie "Stoliczku, nakryj się"? ● Jak złota rybka w rzeczywistości spełniała życzenia rybaków? ● Czy Królewna Śnieżka była… tylko jedna? ● Kim była i skąd się wzięła Mała Syrenka? ● Jak wyglądała ostatnia podróż lokomotywy opisanej w wierszu Juliana Tuwima? „– Pod ścianę! – rozkazał, wymachując trzymanym w ręku rewolwerem. (…) – Bo wpakuję kulkę w łeb! (…) Ostrzegam, że strzelam bardzo celnie. Ledwo to oznajmił, wydłużył mu się nos. Spojrzał zezem na jego czubek i wrzasnął: – Ja nie kłamię! Kinol podwoił długość. (…) Zawadził nim o stojący pośrodku niewielkiego holu reklamowy stand. Rozległ się suchy trzask. Część pajacowego narządu powonienia zgięła się najpierw pod kątem prostym, a następnie zadyndała na pojedynczej, cienkiej drzazdze. Pinokio wpadł w panikę. – Kurwa! – krzyknął. – Pierdolę ten napad! Zabierzcie mnie do najbliższej stolarni! I to takiej z wysokoobrotową frezarką! W końcu płacę co miesiąc na ubezpieczenie zdrowotne! Żądam stolarza specjalisty!” Marcin Pełka – lekarz, specjalista dermatologii i wenerologii, doktor nauk medycznych. Szeroko pojętą literaturą fantastyczno-naukową interesuje się od czasów szkoły podstawowej. W miarę upływu czasu zainteresowanie to przerodziło się w pasję i doprowadziło do tego, że sam zmierzył się z piórem. Jest fanem krótkich, humorystycznych opowiadań i takie właśnie formy przeważają w jego twórczości.

Pogięte bajki

'This is every woman’s dream revenge plot come to life.' Reader review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Are you on a date that doesn’t feel right? Can’t shake that creepy guy at the bar?Worried you’re being followed home?Message M.After one too many terrifying encounters, Millie Masters sets up a hotline for women who feel unsafe walking home alone at night: Message M. But very quickly she realises that there’s much more to be done to help the women who call in. Because the men just do it again the next night, and the next, and the next… And when her own sister is assaulted on a night out, the temptation to take the law into her own hands becomes too much to resist. Because M can also stand for murder… A deliciously dark, hilariously twisted serial killer thriller with a villainous female lead. Perfect for fans of Bella Mackie’s How to Kill Your Family, Oyinkan Braithwaite’s My Sister, the Serial Killer, or anyone who enjoyed watching You. Readers are OBSESSED with How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways!‘A masterclass in murder. Millie is the serial killer you never knew you needed in your life.’ LM Chilton ‘Deliriously dark and incredibly funny. How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways is a wild revenge comedy that had me reading all night…Addictive and twisty, I loved it!’ Katie Marsh ‘We love the dark humour in this thriller.’ That’s Life Crime Scene ‘Eve Kellman – I applaud you. This was absolutely fantastic.’ Reader review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘I loved this book! Brilliant twists all the way through and so cleverly written. A must read!’ Reader review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘This is … clever, quick-paced, and such a twist on the serial killer genre.’ Reader review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘I absolutely LOVED this book! I flew through it! The feminine rage and the witty banter was *chefs kiss*. I can't wait for this to come out so I can buy copies for all my friends!’ Reader review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A REESE'S BOOK CLUB PICK “Hard to put down, harder to forget.” — Stephen King, #1 New York Times bestselling author White lies. Dark humor. Deadly consequences… Bestselling sensation Juniper Song is not who she says she is, she didn’t write the book she claims she wrote, and she is most certainly not Asian American—in this chilling and hilariously cutting novel from R.F. Kuang, the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Babel. Authors June Hayward and Athena Liu were supposed to be twin rising stars. But Athena’s a literary darling. June Hayward is literally nobody. Who wants stories about basic white girls, June thinks. So when June witnesses Athena’s death in a freak accident, she acts on impulse: she steals Athena’s just-finished masterpiece, an experimental novel about the unsung contributions of Chinese laborers during World War I. So what if June edits Athena’s novel and sends it to her agent as her own work? So what if she lets her new publisher rebrand her as Juniper Song—complete with an ambiguously ethnic author photo? Doesn’t this piece of history deserve to be told, whoever the teller? That’s what June claims, and the New York Times bestseller list seems to agree. But June can’t get away from Athena’s shadow, and emerging evidence threatens to bring June’s (stolen) success down around her. As June races to protect her secret, she discovers exactly how far she will go to keep what she thinks she deserves. With its totally immersive first-person voice, Yellowface grapples with questions of diversity, racism, and cultural appropriation, as well as the terrifying alienation of social media. R.F. Kuang’s novel is timely, razor-sharp, and eminently readable.

Yellowface

“Roxane Gay is so great at weaving the intimate and personal with what is most bewildering and upsetting at this moment in culture. She is always looking, always thinking, always passionate, always careful, always right there.” — Sheila Heti, author of How Should a Person Be? A New York Times Bestseller Best Book of the Year: NPR • Boston Globe • Newsweek • Time Out New York • Oprah.com • Miami Herald • Book Riot • Buzz Feed • Globe and Mail (Toronto) • The Root • Shelf Awareness A collection of essays spanning politics, criticism, and feminism from one of the most-watched cultural observers of her generation In these funny and insightful essays, Gay takes us through the journey of her evolution as a woman (Sweet Valley High) of color (The Help) while also taking readers on a ride through culture of the last few years (Girls, Django in Chains) and commenting on the state of feminism today (abortion, Chris Brown). The portrait that emerges is not only one of an incredibly insightful woman continually growing to understand herself and our society, but also one of our culture. Bad Feminist is a sharp, funny, and spot-on look at the ways in which the culture we consume becomes who we are, and an inspiring call-to-arms of all the ways we still need to do better, coming from one of our most interesting and important cultural critics.

Bad Feminist

Piękna księżniczka, która w zamkowej wieży oczekuje dzielnego wybawcy, jej srogi ojciec, smok grożący śmiercią wszystkim rycerzom chętnym wybawić piękność z niewoli... Kto z nas nie zna słynnego baśniowego schematu? Tym razem klasyka podlega licznym i arcyzabawnym modyfikacjom. Uwięziona księżniczka czaruje nie tyleż urodą, co ciętym dowcipem, strażnik wzbudza uśmiech oraz sympatię czytelników, a smok okazuje się smoczycą Paskudą, z wielkim zaangażowaniem konsumującą niedoszłych wybawicieli księżniczki. Pełna humoru opowieść o niebanalnym trio spodoba się wszystkim miłośnikom przełamywania schematów oraz fanom kultowego „Shreka". Magdalena Kozak - pisarka, autorka powieści fantastycznych, lekarz, żołnierz. Jej literackim debiutem jest opowiadanie Nuda, a pierwsza powieść – Nocarz – doczekała kontynuacji w powieściach Renegat, Nikt i Młody. Wśród jej powieści znajdują się także, m.in., Fiolet, Łzy diabła oraz Paskuda & Co. Smoczyca Paskuda jest ponadto bohaterką wielu opowiadań autorki. Magdalena Kozak była nominowana do Nagrody Literackiej Jerzego Żuławskiego (za powieść Łzy diabła), czterokrotnie do nagrody Nautilus (powieści Nocarz i Renegat, opowiadania Operacja „Faust" oraz Cynglarze), a także pięciokrotnie do Nagrody Fandomu Polskiego imienia Janusza A. Zajdla (powieści Nocarz, Renegat, Nikt, Łzy diabła i opowiadania Sznurki przeznaczenia oraz Strasznie mi się podobasz). Kozak pasjonuje się strzelectwem oraz skacze ze spadochronem.

Paskuda & Co

*Nominated for Best Book at the 2025 Chortle Awards* 'Outstanding, I want to press it into the hands of every newly diagnosed person' Fern Brady 'Like a Martian's guide to living on Earth. Funny, enlightening and gobsmacking' Frank Skinner 'A hilarious, crystal-clear guide to autism' Phil Wang 'An illuminating and joyously entertaining book' Daily Express Why were the other kids at school obsessed with Britney Spears instead of The Goon Show? Why don't people ever say what they mean? And... Why is everyone chewing so loudly? Comedian Pierre Novellie was on stage when a heckler suggested he was autistic. Usually, this disruption would be water off a duck's back but two things made this heckler different: first, he was himself autistic. Second, he turned out to be absolutely right. This random encounter led to a diagnosis of autism at the age of 31 that unravelled his world, explained his struggles and answered questions that had bothered him for his entire life. At once a hilarious and insightful journey through autism and neurodivergence, an entertaining explainer for the uninitiated and observational comedy for the neurodiverse, this is the perfect read for anyone who has ever asked themselves: why can't I just enjoy things? The audiobook includes an exclusive Q&A with comedian and BudPod co-host, Phil Wang.

Why Can't I Just Enjoy Things?

'Seldom is a book as funny, important and timely … I was laughing out loud at the same time as my blood was running cold' JOHN CLEESE ‘Viciously funny… an exhilarating satire’ THE TIMES 'Merciless… a welcome distraction' ECONOMIST, Best Books of 2024 What if calling someone stupid was illegal?In a reality not too distant from our own, the worst thing you can call someone is 'stupid'. Everyone is equally clever, and discrimination based on intelligence is 'the last great civil rights fight'. Exams and grades are discarded and you don't need a qualification to be a doctor. When best friends Pearson and Emory find themselves on opposing sides of this new culture war, their relationship begins to fracture. And soon, Pearson’s determination to cling onto the 'old, bigoted way of thinking' begins to endanger her job, her safety and even her family… Hilarious, deadpan and scathing, MANIA is a frighteningly plausible glimpse into what the world could become – or is already – from the pen of a master storyteller.

Mania

From the author of Everything I Know About Love and longtime Sunday Times Style columnist comes advice and answers to your questions about dating, love, sex, family, friendship and more. “One of the foremost ‘it’ writers of our time. . . . There is no writer quite like Dolly.”—Lisa Taddeo, author of #1 New York Times bestseller Three Women “Nora Ephron for the millennial generation.”—Elizabeth Day, author of How to Fail and The Party For years, New York Times bestselling author Dolly Alderton has been sharing her wisdom, warmth, and wit with the diverse universe of fans who have turned to her “Dear Dolly” column seeking guidance on a host of life problems. Dolly has thoughtfully answered questions ranging from the painfully—and sometimes hilariously—relatable to the occasionally bizarre. They include breakups and body issues, families, relationships platonic and romantic, dating, divorce, the pleasures and pitfalls of social media, sex, loneliness, longing, love and everything in between. Without judgement, and with deep empathy informed by her own, much-chronicled adventures with love, friends, and dating, Dolly helps us navigate the labyrinths of life. In this wonderful collection, she brings together her collected knowledge in one invaluable volume that will make you think, make you laugh, and help you confront any conundrum or crisis.

Dear Dolly

‘A thrill for the sickos among us’ JIA TOLENTINO ‘Utterly inimitable’ RAVEN LEILANI ‘Unrelentingly brutal and gut-bustingly funny and spares no one’ CARMEN MARIA MACHADO 'Symbiotically serious and funny' MEGAN NOLAN 'The funniest, darkest thing' ST VINCENT LONGLISTED FOR THE 2024 NATIONAL BOOK AWARD IN FICTION An audacious, original and unforgettable novel-in-stories that follows a cast of intricately linked characters as rejection throws their lives and relationships into chaos. Sharply observant and outrageously funny, Rejection is a provocative plunge into the thorniest problems of modern life: sex, relationships, identity and the internet. We see a young man’s passionate allyship turn to a furious and debilitating nihilism as he realizes, over thirty lonely years, that his feminism isn’t getting him laid; a young woman’s unrequited crush spirals into borderline obsession and the systematic destruction of both her sense of self and her group chat; and witness a shy late bloomer’s flailing efforts at a first relationship lead to a life-upending mistake. As these characters pop up in each other’s dating apps and social media feeds, or meet in dimly lit bars and bedrooms, they reveal the ways that our delusions can warp our desire for connection. Written with the accomplished authority of a modern classic and the manic intensity of a losers’ manifesto, Rejection by Tony Tulathimutte radically redefines what it means to be rejected by lovers, friends, society and oneself. ‘A book of mad, madcap genius’ Garth Greenwell ‘He writes about these things in the way Anthony Bourdain wrote about restaurants… Tulathimutte is a big talent’ The New York Times Book Review ‘Blistering … takes a magnifying glass to the mind in the internet age’ Vogue ‘There’s a volatile thrill to the writing … snortingly funny’ Wall Street Journal ‘Obsessively readable, acerbic, Foster Wallace–inflected’ Vanity Fair ‘A master comedian with a virtuoso prose style … audacious, original and highly disturbing’ New York Times Magazine A Book of the Year in Wall Street Journal, New York Times, New Yorker, NPR, Time Magazine, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Kirkus Review and Electric Literature.

Rejection

Cat's Cradle is Vonnegut's satirical commentary on modern man and his madness. An apocalyptic tale of this planet's ultimate fate, it features a little person as the protagonist; a complete, original theology created by a calypso singer; and a vision of the future that is at once blackly fatalistic and hilariously funny.

Cat's Cradle

'This book had sex with my brain!' SARA PASCOE 'Hilarious. Intimate. Vital.' JAMEELA JAMIL 'I couldn't put the book down!' LAURA BATES Comedian Sofie Hagen has not had sex in 3,000 days (and counting). And it turns out, she's not the only one . . . In an attempt to find out why we're not having the sex we want, Sofie asks the questions: can we blame a lacking sex education? Is it all just sexual trauma? Where's the radical sexual liberation we were promised? What are we going to do about this? Should she have slept with that guy in that bush that one time? How do you overcome being a 35-year-old virgin (when it comes to queer sex, that is)? How do the socially awkward and the neurodiverse have sex? In Will I Ever Have Sex Again?, Sofie Hagen explores the quirks and difficulties of being an 'involuntary celibate' (but one of the feminist, progressive ones). With a blend of memoir and conversations with experts, therapists, sex workers, porn stars, comedians and public figures, this is a humorous and bold undertaking to gain a better understanding of how we can think, talk and feel about sex. The audiobook includes an exclusive bonus interview with fellow comedian, friend and author, Sara Pascoe. 'I was expecting a tad more tahini' YOTTAM OTTOLENGHI 'Refreshingly honest' ROSIE JONES 'Warm, Curious, Charming' AUBREY GORDON

Will I Ever Have Sex Again?

Newly minted doctor Jane McGill is in hell. Not literally, of course. But between her drug addict patients, sleepless nights on call, and battling wits with the sadistic yet charming Sexy Surgeon, Jane can’t imagine an afterlife much worse than her first month of medical internship at County Hospital. And then there’s the devil herself: Jane’s senior resident Dr. Alyssa Morgan. When Alyssa becomes absolutely hell-bent on making her new interns pay tenfold for the deadly sin of incompetence, Jane starts to worry that she may not make it through the year with her soul or her sanity still intact.

Dr. Jane McGill

The Devil Wears Scrubs

“I’m sick to death of this particular self. I want another.” Virginia Woolf’s Orlando is the extraordinary biography of a young nobleman in the court of Elizabeth I who transforms into a woman and lives for over three centuries. In his youth, Orlando is a passionate lover and poet. He dotes on the Queen, serves King James faithfully, falls deeply in love with a Russian princess, and becomes an ambassador to Constantinople, but at his heart all Orlando ever wants to be is a great writer (and living at the same time as Marlowe, Donne, and Shakespeare, this is no easy thing). But while living in Constantinople, one evening Orlando is transformed into woman, though she retains all her memories and personality; the only thing that changes about Orlando is her body. Now as a woman, she must navigate complex and exclusionary legal systems throughout the ages, her own previous views on gender, society’s expectations of marriage, and her own ambitions as a poet—not to mention having to grapple with a seemingly immortal lifespan. An unusual and profound examination of gender roles, expression, and identity, Orlando is one of Woolf’s best known and best loved works, and it remains just as relevant and revolutionary today as when it was first published.

Orlando

Once, I knew this girl who sent a video of herself to her brother's best friend…while she was hopped up on pain meds. And he didn’t reciprocate her feelings. Sounds like a hilarious story, right? WRONG. This really happened…to ME, Melanie Taylor. That was five years ago, so I’m over it—over him. At least, I thought I was…until West got traded to the D.C. Eagles and moved to the same city as me! Oh yeah, did I forget to mention my brother’s best friend is Weston Kershaw? An incredibly talented and famous professional hockey player? Of course, I set out to avoid him completely but end up going to one of his games—against my will, I might add. When I have to face him again all of those stupid butterflies in my stomach return full force. Except this time, the attraction doesn’t feel so one-sided. This is a closed-door, dual POV romcom with mild language and innuendo. Trigger warnings: childhood trauma/anxiety.

D.C. Eagles Hockey

Passion or Penalty

Welcome to another typical summer in Florida, the season of the storms. Serge Storms. That loveable, under-under-medicated dispenser of truth, justice, and trivia is back with a vengeance. And not a weirdness-laced moment too soon. His cherished home state is about to take a beating, and from far more than the way-too-routine conga line of hurricanes bearing down on the peninsula. Corpses have begun turning up at a disturbing rate, even for Florida, and it looks like a brutal serial killer is on the loose. Serge vows to stop at nothing in his juggernaut to make All Things Right...except if he gets bored or distracted by a cool souvenir or...or a...whatever. But his path won't be obstacle free. Agent Mahoney has picked up the scent. The obsessive criminal profiler is convinced there is no second killer. Then there's Coleman, whose triathlete approach to the sport of polyabuse binging just might derail the mission more than the entire police community put together. The pace picks up. Winds howl, TV reporters fly around the beach, and questions mount: Who's stalking Tampa Bay's most sensitive journalist? Do multiple orgasms improve storm tracking? Why is the feeding-tube guy so quiet? All of which ultimately leads to the most pressing question on everyone's new-millennium lips: What would Serge do? Performed by Oliver Wyman

Serge Storms

Hurricane Punch

Immerse yourself in a world where the wonderful Stephen Fry reads some of the more memorable short stories of our time. A brilliant combination of reader and writer come together in these seven short stories available on digital download only. Stephen writes “Saki remains, from a distance of a hundred years, just about the sharpest, cruellest, funniest and most elegant short story writer in our language. Hector Hugh Monro, to give him his real name, was an English writer and journalist whose life was cut short by the Great War. His stories often oppose nature and civilisation, with the more macabre elements of nature usually rising to victory. My favourite of his stories is Sredni Vashtar, as perfect a symbolic tale of the power of adolescence as is imaginable. The triumph of imagination, sexuality and life over the repressive forces of conventionality has never been more perfectly or shockingly expressed. The excellence of Tobermory, the talking cat, of The unrest Cure and the Open Window all reveal that unique blend of Wodehousian social comedy with wicked cruelty. Saki is like a perfect martini but with absinthe stirred in…heady, delicious and dangerous. Enjoy” Stephen Fry 2009

Stephen Fry Presents

Short Stories by Saki

‘Perfect, kind, hilarious and persuasive’ Lena Dunham‘You need this book. Your mum needs this book. Your best friend needs this book. Everyone needs a dose of Happy Fat!’ Julie Murphy‘I am a fat person and I love my body. I feel lucky to be able to say that – it has taken a lot of work and a lot of time. I want to tell you what I have learned and how I got here.’ In Happy Fat, comedian Sofie Hagen shares how she removed fatphobic influences from her daily life and found self-acceptance in a world where judgement and discrimination are rife. From shame and sex to airplane seats, love and getting stuck in public toilets, Sofie provides practical tips for readers – drawing wisdom from other Fat Liberation champions along the way. Part memoir, part social commentary, Happy Fat is a funny, angry and impassioned look at how taking up space in a culture that is desperate to reduce you can be radical, emboldening and life-changing.

Happy Fat

“Fierce, fun, wild, and enraging.” —Chris Whitaker, New York Times bestselling author of All the Colors of the Dark “A real joy to read . . . Killer Potential earns Deitch a spot on the ‘new novelists to watch’ list.” — Associated Press An electric debut novel following two young women after they flee a bloody murder scene in the Hollywood Hills and quickly become a runaway media sensation Destined for greatness, wanted for murder. . . A scholarship kid with straight As and big dreams, Evie Gordon always thought she was special, that she’d be someone. But after graduating from an elite university, she finds herself drowning in debt and working as an SAT tutor for the super-rich of Los Angeles. Everything changes one Sunday, when she arrives for her weekly lesson at the Victors’ Beverly Hills estate and, in lieu of a bored teenager, finds the bloody remains of the parents strewn through their beautiful back garden, and a woman crying for help within a closet. As Evie works to free her, the two are spotted—and within moments, they go from bystanders to suspects to fugitives. Suddenly at the heart of a manhunt and accompanied by a mysterious woman who refuses to speak, Evie knows the only way to clear her name is to find the real killer. But first she’ll have to break down the barriers of her companion, who is quickly becoming the most important person in Evie’s upside-down life. Their breathless spree takes them across the U.S. as developments in the case shock the nation and the press runs wild with Evie’s story: a gifted kid turned killer. She's now on the cover of every magazine and newspaper—anointed the new Charles Manson, a bloodthirsty ninety-nine percenter looking to start a class war. Evie is finally someone. By turns cuttingly hilarious and deeply insightful, Killer Potential is a strikingly original debut. A literary novel with the page-turning intensity of a thriller that asks timely questions about our belief in the romance of social mobility, and how the stories we’re sold about our potential can shape the course of our lives.

Killer Potential

Inspired by The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, this book will light a fire under your untidy ass with humor and helpful organizing tips that you’ll actually want to use. Like a delightfully foul-mouthed best friend, this book dishes out the funny, unpretentious advice you need to hear most. You’ll discover how to deal with your sh*t like there’s no tomorrow, live in the moment without the f*cking mess, and make your life and your eventual death a hell of a lot easier. With this witty guide, you’ll learn how to -ditch the d*mn indecision -get your sh*t together and feel fantastic -give your busy family a f*cking break -and more! Whether you’re getting ready to move in, move on, or just move your ass, Nobody Wants Your Sh*t will help you take control of your f*cking life.

Nobody Wants Your Sh*t

How to Butter Toast is the antidote to cookbook-overload. In this fun and entertaining recipe book without any recipes, Ottolenghi co-writer Tara Wigley equips you with rhymes and confidence to cook great food instinctively. Melted butter on hot toast and served up on a plate. It seems like nothing, really, could be clearer or more straight. But though, in terms of things required, the number is just two, there is a lot of wiggle room for what there is to do. Cook and author Tara Wigley had been to cookery school, read hundreds of cookbooks and developed recipes for over a decade. Yet she found the fewer the ingredients in a recipe, the more confusion there was about how best to make it. The result is How to Butter Toast, a collection of rhymes that will enlighten and entertain, reassure and ultimately liberate the culinarily confused. The rhymes provide reassuring – and memorable – answers to the culinary conundrums we often face: How long should I boil an egg? What’s the best way to crush garlic? How do I make mayonnaise, a martini or indeed the perfect cup of tea? Tara’s playful take on these food quandaries seems effortless but belies her knowledgeable and carefully researched approach to cooking. Beautifully packaged with bold and witty illustrations throughout, How to Butter Toast is the perfect gift for cooks of all levels. This is the first book in a series Tara is publishing with Pavilion. ‘I can't think of many food authorities who can string together words which are as poignant and profound as they are entertaining and ear-pleasing.’Yotam Ottolenghi ‘A total joy. Part Dr Seuss, part Ogden Nash, part Julia Child, 100% inspired and inspiring’ Samin Nosrat ‘Fun and wise, Tara manages to capture the kinds of the things we cogitate about – sometimes without even knowing! – and provides reassuring answers to those confusing everyday conundrums. A collection for when you are weary of recipes and cooking, but not of life itself!’ Helen Goh ‘Those who have followed her ditties on Insta since Lockdown will be delighted, but the detail, the skill, the Ballymaloe cookery school training, the years as co-writer with Yotam at Ottolenghi will save serious cooks a fortune in cookery school fees. How she manages to explain chemistry in rhyme is little short of genius.’ Gilly Smith ‘Tara brings together her genius for both rhyming and cooking in this witty, illustrated book. Recipes are replaced by rhyming couplets that are entertaining, sometimes silly and always wise. The ditties make the instructions for how to poach an egg, make hummus or even roast a chicken easier to commit to memory.’ Ravinder Bhogal “It feels gently revolutionary … Wigley’s book has the makings of a modern classic. Imagine the literary lovechild that might have resulted had Dr Seuss eloped with Elizabeth David. Smuggled within the sing-song is a trove of know-how … in other words: she’s got chops.” The Wall Street Journal

How to Butter Toast

Welcome to Chelsea Handler's world—a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense. When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power—vodka. Seems reasonable, when considering that she discovered her boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo and she had to pretend to be honeymooning with her father in order to upgrade to first class. In this highly entertaining, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she’s convincing her third-grade class that she has been chosen to play Goldie Hawn’s daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations. Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Take a tour through the horror paperback novels of two iconic decades—if you dare! Hear shocking plot summaries that invoke devil worship, satanic children, and haunted real estate. Horror author and vintagepaperback book collector Grady Hendrix offers killer commentary and witty insight on these trashy thrillers that tried so hard to be the next Exorcist or Rosemary’s Baby. Complete with story summaries and artist and author profiles, this unforgettable volume dishes on familiar authors like V. C. Andrews and R. L. Stine, plus many more who have faded into obscurity. Also included are recommendations for which of these forgotten treasures are well worth your reading time and which should stay buried.

Paperbacks from Hell

'...hugely inventive and highly amusing ...His sharply observed dialogue and the desire to think round corners and u-bends distinguish Holt's books. He has the ability to make the reader laugh out loud and should be treasured.' - COMPUTERCROWSNEST 'A definite must for all fans of comic fantasy' - ENIGMA Starting a new job is always stressful (especially when you don't particularly want one), but when Paul Carpenter arrives at the office of J. W. Wells he has no idea what trouble lies in store. Because he is about to discover that the apparently respectable establishment now paying his salary is in fact a front for a deeply sinister organisation that has a mighty peculiar agenda. It seems that half the time his bosses are away with the fairies. But they're not, of course. They're away with the goblins. Mister Tom Holt, Master of the Comic Fantasy Novel, cordially invites you to join him in his world of madness by reading his next hilarious masterpiece. Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling Sideways Little People Song for Nero Meadowland Barking Blonde Bombshell The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side

J.W. Wells & Co.

The Portable Door

I'm the notoriously angry, grouchy D.C. Eagles defenseman who just can’t keep his temper in check—a temper that leads to a fifteen-game suspension from the NHL. As if that’s not bad enough, I'm forced into a short-term youth-hockey coaching gig—which my manager swears will “rebuild my image.” But what I didn’t expect was for a gorgeous, spunky blonde to stomp onto the ice on day one and lecture me about being rude to her little brother. Something about this spitfire of a woman, and the boy she’s so protective of, has my defenses melting. And if I’m not careful, I’ll burst into flames, forever melting the ice I’ve carefully kept around my heart. This is a closed-door romcom with mild language. Trigger warnings include parental substance abuse and dealing with grief/loss of parents.

Desire or Defense

Virginia Woolf’s "Orlando" is an enchanting and thought-provoking tale that transcends time and gender, offering a profound exploration of identity, self-discovery, and the limits of societal roles. The novel tells the story of Orlando, a young nobleman in the Elizabethan era who miraculously transforms into a woman and embarks on a centuries-long journey through history. Through Orlando’s extraordinary adventures—from Shakespeare’s court to modern-day London—Woolf deftly examines the fluidity of gender and the arbitrary constraints placed on identity by society. This enchanting and satirical narrative blends fiction, history, and fantasy to explore the nature of artistic creation and personal transformation. As Orlando experiences life across different time periods, the novel questions the very nature of historical truth, gender roles, and the meaning of individuality. Woolf’s elegant prose, sprinkled with humor and philosophical depth, invites readers to reflect on their own notions of identity and self-expression. Perfect for those interested in feminist literature, historical fiction, or the challenges of defining oneself outside societal norms, "Orlando" is an essential read. It’s a playful and profound narrative that challenges conventions, making it an essential book for anyone who loves a story that defies expectations. The novel’s experimental structure and vibrant characters will captivate readers seeking a book that blends imagination with social critique in an utterly unique way. "Orlando" is timeless, offering readers a literary experience that resonates deeply and lingers long after the final page is turned. ABOUT THE AUTHOR A pioneering voice in modern literature, Virginia Woolf redefined narrative form with her lyrical prose and stream-of-consciousness technique. In works like "Mrs. Dalloway", "To the Lighthouse", and "A Room of One’s Own", she explored gender, identity, and the inner lives of her characters. A key figure of the Bloomsbury Group, Woolf challenged literary conventions and championed women’s intellectual freedom. Her innovative style and bold ideas have cemented her as one of the most influential writers of the 20th century.

Erasure is Percival Everett's hilarious satire about race and publishing, now an Oscar-nominated film, American Fiction, directed by Cord Jefferson and starring Jeffrey Wright and Tracee Ellis Ross. 'Hilarious . . . Everett is a first-rate word-wrangler.' – Nicholas Lezard, The Guardian Thelonious 'Monk' Ellison's once-acclaimed writing career has bottomed out: his latest manuscript has been rejected by seventeen publishers. He seethes on the sidelines of the literary establishment as he watches the meteoric success of We's Lives in Da Ghetto, a first novel by a woman who once visited 'some relatives in Harlem for a couple of days'. Meanwhile, Monk struggles with real family tragedies – his aged mother is fast succumbing to Alzheimer's, and he still grapples with the reverberations of his father's suicide seven years before. In his rage and despair, Monk dashes off an outlandish novel full of stereotypes. He doesn't intend for My Pafology to be published, let alone taken seriously, but it is, and soon it becomes the Next Big Thing. How Monk deals with the personal and professional fallout galvanizes this audacious, hysterical and quietly devastating novel. 'Sublime . . . brilliant, uproarious . . . A wise novel about how we live.' – Brandon Taylor, author of the Booker Prize-shortlisted Real Life 'Seminal doesn't even come close. This novel is Everett at his finest, full of trademark protest, humanity and incisive humour, all wrapped up in one hell of a story.' – Courttia Newland, author of A River Called Time Read Percival's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel James in paperback now.

Erasure

I Am Not Sidney Poitier is a comic tour de force from the Pulitzer Prize-nominated author of The Trees, Dr No and Erasure (adapted into an Oscar-nominated film). The sudden death of Not Sidney Poitier’s mother orphans him at age eleven. He is left with a name no one understands, an uncanny resemblance to an Oscar-winning actor, and serious amount of shares in the Turner Corporation. Percival Everett’s novel follows Not Sidney’s tumultuous life, as the social hierarchy scrambles to balance his skin colour with his fabulous wealth. Maturing under the less than watchful eye of his adopted foster father, Ted Turner, Not Sidney learns to navigate a world that doesn’t know what to do with him. Part of the Picador Collection, a series celebrating fifty years of Picador books and showcasing the best of modern literature. Read Percival's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel James in paperback now.

I Am Not Sidney Poitier

Opening with the exotic Lady Death entering the gumshoe-writer's seedy office in pursuit of a writer named Celine, this novel demonstrates Bukowski's own brand of humour and realism, opening up a landscape of seamy Los Angeles.

Pulp

The Instant New York Times Bestseller A practical guide to taking control of your mental health for today, tomorrow, and the days after, from the #1 New York Times bestselling author and beloved entertainer. ‘There’s a moment at the end of every day, where the world falls away and you are left alone with your thoughts. A reckoning, when the things you have been pushing to the background, come forward and demand your attention.’ Written by Daniel Howell, in consultation with a qualified psychologist, in an entertaining and personal way from the perspective of someone who has been through it all—this no-nonsense book gives you the tools to understand your mind so you can be in control and really live. Created with exclusive audio features, it is split into three chapters for each stage of the journey: This Night - how to get through your toughest moments and be prepared to face anything. Tomorrow - small steps to change your thoughts and actions with a big impact on your life. The Days After - help to look after yourself in the long term and not just survive, but thrive. You will laugh and learn—but most of all, this book will assure you that even in your darkest times, there is always hope. You will get through this night.

You Will Get Through This Night

Wren Daniels is in over her head. Between organizing a charity auction and trying to renovate a cabin she can’t afford, she’s barely keeping her head above water. The only bright spot is her new friend she met on an anonymous dating app four months ago. That is, until she discovers he’s the last person she would have expected—her grumpy neighbor who she’s never gotten along with. Holden Blankenship likes his life just the way it is. After his wife left him, he spent years putting his life back together. Now he’s got his daughter who is the light of his world, his family, and surprisingly, an anonymous friend. But when his anonymous friend turns out to be his neighbor who drives him crazy, he’s not sure what to make of it. Especially when her contractor backs out of her cabin renovation project and he finds himself offering to help her. Now Wren is getting under his skin in a completely different way and turning all his carefully laid plans upside down. As Wren continues to show up for Holden and Holden keeps proving to Wren that he’s not really as standoffish as he seems, the lines between friendship and more start to blur.

The Mountains Are Calling

Off the Beaten Path

The Sunday Times top 10 bestseller. Laugh along with Michael McIntyre as he lifts the curtain on his life in his revealing autobiography. This audio edition is hilariously read by Michael himself. Michael’s first book ended with his big break at the 2006 Royal Variety Performance. Waking up the next morning in the tiny rented flat he shared with his wife Kitty and their one-year-old son, he was beyond excited about the new glamorous world of show business. Unfortunately, he was also clueless . . . In A Funny Life, Michael honestly and hilariously shares the highs and the lows of his rise to the top and desperate attempts to stay there. It’s all here, from his disastrous panel show appearances to his hit TV shows, from mistakenly thinking he’d be a good chat show host and talent judge, to finding fame and fortune beyond his wildest dreams and becoming the biggest-selling comedian in the world. Along the way he opens his man drawer, narrowly avoids disaster when his trousers fall down in front of three policemen and learns the hard way why he should always listen to his wife. Michael has had a silly life, a stressful life, sometimes a moving and touching life, but always A Funny Life.

A Funny Life

Fran Donoghue has just killed her neighbour. Don’t worry, you’ll agree, he deserved it. Detective Gareth Donoghue has a terrible feeling about his missing neighbour. By the time this is over, that will be the least of his worries… A dark, sharp and hilarious novel about love, marriage, and murder, with an ending you won’t see coming… Gareth certainly didn’t. Perfect for fans of How to Kill Your Family, Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone and Killing Eve.

My Wife, the Serial Killer

‘This is a funny and beautiful book. What a little bastard.’ RUSSELL BRAND ‘A millennial's answer to David Sedaris. No writer is funnier than Joel Golby.’ DOLLY ALDERTON A collection of full-throated appreciations, withering assessments, and hard-won lessons by the popular journalist. There are a few things you need to know about Joel Golby. Both his parents are dead. His dad was an alcoholic. He himself has a complicated relationship with alcohol. He once went to karaoke three times in five days. He will always beat you at Monopoly, and he will always cheat. Joel makes a name for himself as a journalist who brings us distinguished articles such as ‘A Man Shits On A Plane So Hard It Has To Turn Around And Come Back Again’, but that says more about us than him. In his first book, Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant Joel writes about important stuff (death, alcohol, loss, friendship) and unimportant stuff (Saudi Arabian Camel Pageants, a watertight ranking of the Rocky films, Monopoly), always with the soft punch of a lesson tucked within. Golby’s sharp, evocative prose thrives on reality and honesty that is gut-wrenchingly close to the bone, and laced with a copious dose of dark humour. Who is this book for? It is for everyone, but mainly people who are as lost and confused as Joel and just want to have a good laugh about it.

Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant

Chłodny dzień sierpnia. Lady Blemley wydaje kolejne przyjęcie dla swoich arystokratycznych przyjaciół. Wśród zgromadzonych gości pojawia się niejaki Cornelius Appin, który latami badał zwierzęta i usiłował nauczyć ich ludzkiego języka. Okazuje się, że w końcu udało się mu tego dokonać. Tombermory - kot państwa Blemley’ów - biegle włada ludzką mową. Zaproszony na przyjęcie nie przebiera w słowach i obnaża najbardziej wstydliwe sekrety gości. Wszyscy zgodnie postanawiają pozbyć się zwierzęcia... „Tombermory" to klasyka literatury angielskiej XX wieku i jedna ze znakomitych, makabrycznych satyr pióra Hectora Hugh Munro, znanego jako Saki. Saki, czyli Hector Hugh Munro – brytyjski pisarz żyjący w latach 1870-1917. Sławę przyniosły mu krótkie historyjki o charakterze satyrycznym, niekiedy graniczące z makabrą. Oprócz tego Saki był również twórcą dramatów, sztuk jednoaktowych, studium historycznego oraz powieści. Jego najbardziej znana i pełnometrażowa sztuka to „The Watched Pot" napisana we współpracy z Charlesem Maude. rnrnDebiutował w 1900 roku powieścią „The Rise of the Russian Empire", wzorując się na książce Edwarda Gibbona o upadku Cesarstwa Rzymskiego. Posądzono go wówczas o wtórność. W międzyczasie Munro pracował jako dziennikarz m.in. „Westminster Gazette", „Daily Express", „Morning Post". Jednak prawdziwą sławę przyniosły mu polityczne satyry. rn

Tobermory

“Road Dogs is terrific, and Elmore Leonard is in a class of one.” —Dennis Lehane, author of Shutter Island and Mystic River “You know from the first sentence that you’re in the hands of the original Daddy Cool....This one’ll kill you.” —Stephen King Elmore Leonard is eternal. In Road Dogs, the PEN USA Lifetime Achievement Award winner and “America’s greatest crime master” (Newsweek) brings back three of his favorite characters—Jack Foley from Out of Sight, Cundo Rey from La Brava, and Dawn Navarro from Riding the Rap—for a twisting, explosive, always surprising masterwork of crime fiction the San Francisco Chronicle calls, “a sly, violent, funny and superbly written story of friendship, greed, and betrayal.”

Road Dogs

The first in what will become the quintessential list of the best of live British comedy, AN AUDIENCE WITH BARRY CRYER brings you up close and personal with one of bastions of British comedy in this live recording of his sellout comedy tour. Available for the first time as a downloadable audio file. The AN AUDIENCE WITH… series will bring you a succession of live performances by some of Britain's best-loved comedians, opening with Barry Cryer, one of the stalwarts of Radio 4. The quintessential grumpy old man, Barry Cryer's standup combines the quick wit of Radio 4 with the charm and class of the 'Great Men of Comedy'. He has been a regular panelist on I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue and Just a Minute, the latter of which he also chaired. In 1998, Barry wrote his autobiography, You Won't Believe This But…, which has been broadcast on Radio 4. Barry is also famous for having written gags for some of the legends of British comedy, including Morecambe and Wise, Tommy Cooper, Stanley Baxter, Dick Emery, Dave Allen, Les Dawson, Bob Hope, Kenny Everett, Sir Harry Secombe, Billy Connolly, Jasper Carrot and Richard Pryor. With a CV that reads like the 'Who's Who of British Comedy Greats', Cryer's unique blend of old-school gentility and cutting edge intellect facilitates an audience-base that spans generations.

An Audience with Barry Cryer

The brand-new adventure from the beloved author of The Hundred Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared.Victor Alderheim has a lot to answer for. Not only has he heartlessly tricked his young ex-wife, Jenny, out of her art gallery inheritance, but he has also abandoned his son, Kevin, to die in the middle of the Kenyan savanna. It doesn’t occur to Victor that Kevin might be rescued and adopted by a Maasai medicine man, or that he might be expected to undergo the rituals expected of all new Maasai warriors – which have him running back to Stockholm as fast as you can say circumcision without anaesthetic. Back in Stockholm, Kevin’s path crosses with Jenny’s – and they have an awful lot to talk about, not least a shared desire to get even with Victor. So it’s convenient when they run into a man selling revenge services, who has an ingenious idea involving Victor’s cellar, a goat, some forged paintings, four large boxes of sex toys, and a kilo of flour …

Sweet Sweet Revenge Ltd.

A toe curling, laugh out loud collection of worst day disasters. I’d always rolled my eyes when people describe things as 'happening in slow motion'. Surely everything happens in regular time and it's only when you replay it in your head that it seems to slow down?But as the car lurched forward and I found myself sailing through the back of the garage, I finally understood what they meant. When a trip to meet his new girlfriend’s grandparents ends in disaster (think a crashed ute, an angry wasp and a cranky farmer with a shotgun), Thomas Mitchell knows one thing for sure: bad days make for great stories. While we might not like to admit it, we can't help but find a sneaky pleasure in other people's misfortune. It's the reason fail compilations rack up millions of views on YouTube or television shows like Funniest Home Videos exist at all. Deep down we're addicted to the downfall of our fellow humans, and if there was ever a point in history when we needed a laugh, it's now. Today I F***D Up is a collection of tall tales but true that are equal parts hilarious and horrifying; a timely reminder that no matter how terrible things get, they could always be worse. So much worse. Praise for Today I F***D Up 'Today I F****d Up turns disaster, catastrophes, abject humiliation and pure mortification into gold. Essential reading for anyone who's been there as many times as I have. Read the book, and you'll laugh for sure, and you just might also cry.' Markus Zusak `You know those days where everything goes wrong? We’ve all had them and now Thomas Mitchell has written a book about them. It’s very funny. You can do what we love to do the most... laugh at other people’s expense.’ Larry Emdur `If you’re in need of a good laugh do yourself a favour and give it a read.’ Francesca Hung `Thomas Mitchell has written a book. He says it’s hilarious and I concur!’ Samantha Armytage `I’m reading this – it’s so good. Thomas Mitchell is very funny. And talented. If you want a laugh and a great read – can’t recommend it enough.’ Sally Obermeder `He’s hilarious!’ Kylie Gillies `Ever had a bad day? It’s nothing compared to the hilarious stories in this book. Filled to the brim with stories about dating, sex, losing your job, capitulating in a job interview and accidentally throwing a house party (we’ve all been there), Mitchell has compiled the best of the best for your enjoyment.’ Pop Sugar `Bad day? This book will help you feel 100 per cent better about your life choices.’ TV WEEK

Today I F****d Up

Things you bring on a desert island... Sunscreen, obviously. Because these Irish freckles of mine will burn, baby, burn, and lobster red is not a great color on me. An extra dose of my seizure meds, just in case. A backpack full of snacks, including but not limited to a canteen of Dr. Pepper, a box of mini Christmas cookies, and granola bars—the gross crumbly kind, not the chocolate chip kind, because I'm trying to be healthy. Sunglasses, so that when I inevitably wind up staring at my brother's best friend—who I haven't seen in years—no one will be able to tell. I've been in love with him for years, but it would never work out; he lives on a literal island, while I'm still in grad school. It can't hurt to look, though, right? Also bug spray. My packing list is all well and good for a quick port excursion as part of my family’s Christmas cruise. But when the cruise ship leaves me behind, with only the contents of my bag and my brother’s best friend to keep me company? Well, I’ve got problems—especially since I'm going to run out of medicine soon. And I don’t think they make sunscreen strong enough to block the sparks that are growing between Beckett and me...

Christmas Escape

A Not-So Holiday Paradise

Love can be downright messy. This last year has been a total disaster, but my failed six-month marriage takes the cake. While my ex is out having the time of his life, my coping mechanisms consist of an unhealthy obsession with true-crime podcasts and trying to revive my floundering social media account. So, when I get an offer from one of social media’s darlings—Nikki Aker—to make gingerbread centerpieces for her Christmas wedding, I can’t refuse. Not only because the job pays well (my maxed-out credit card will attest to how much I need this money), but it’s a last-ditch effort to increase my following before I’m forced to get “a real job.” There’s only one small problem I didn’t account for: Nikki’s a self-proclaimed matchmaker, and apparently, I’m her next target. My only hope to escape unscathed is to conspire with Nikki’s grumpy—albeit gorgeous—brother, Landon, who seems equally determined to get through this wedding with his single status fully intact. All we need to do is convince Nikki we're developing feelings for each other. What can possibly go wrong? *Heat Level: Mild/Sweet

A Newport Christmess

When Billy Twillig, a genius adolescent, wins the first Nobel Prize ever to be given in mathematics, he is recruited to live and work in the company of thirty Nobel laureates in obscurity underground. There, away from the rest of the world, this panel of estranged, demented and lovable scientists work together on a secret scientific project: deciphering a mysterious transmission received from outer space, from just near Ratner's Star. Written in Don DeLillo's characteristically mesmerizing prose, Ratner's Star is a brilliantly observed, funny and deeply thought-provoking novel which explores the mysterious, mind-blowing, mathematical world of the future.

Ratner's Star

A Simon & Schuster audiobook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every listener.

Leslie Nielsen's The Naked Truth

A New York Times bestseller! What do you do when you spot a wild Trump in the election season? New York Times bestselling author and comedian Michael Ian Black has some sage advice for children (and all the rest of us who are scratching our heads in disbelief) in this perfectly timely parody picture book intended for adults that would be hysterical if it wasn’t so true. The beasty is called an American Trump. Its skin is bright orange, its figure is plump. Its fur so complex you might get enveloped. Its hands though are, sadly, underdeveloped. The Trump is a curious creature, very often spotted in the wild, but confounding to our youngest citizens. A business mogul, reality TV host, and now…political candidate? Kids (and let’s be honest many adults) might have difficulty discerning just what this thing that’s been dominating news coverage this election cycle is. Could he actually be real? Are those…words coming out of his mouth? Why are his hands so tiny? And perhaps most importantly, what on earth do you do when you encounter an American Trump? With his signature wit and a classic picture book style, comedian Michael Ian Black introduces those unfamiliar with the Americus Trumpus to his distinguishing features and his mystifying campaign for world domination…sorry…President of the United States.

A Child's First Book of Trump

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